Nobody gets married with the intention of getting a divorce, and it can be devastating to think about the end of something that you truly expected would last a lifetime. Unfortunately, we can’t always control when things or other people change, and perhaps your relationship no longer feels the same. Either you or your partner are more distant, there’s more arguing and contempt, or perhaps they have engaged in behaviors that push your boundaries or are disrespectful in nature. 

Many people can feel it in their gut when their marriage is on an unsalvageable track, but it can be difficult to consciously accept that your marriage is coming to an end. Today’s post includes a few tips on how you can navigate such a challenging and difficult time. We’ll also provide some guidance as to what your first steps should be as you move towards a fresh start. 

Look For Signs that The Marriage is Ending

Sometimes, it can be difficult to ascertain if your marriage is truly at an end, or if you’re simply going through a very difficult time. Only you can answer this question for yourself, but do be on the lookout for these key signs that are typical in relationships headed towards divorce:

• Physical intimacy is non-existent, and you and your partner spend very little time alone
• You no longer feel like you’re on the same team but rather on opposites sides of an arena
• Your spouse constantly disrespects or belittles or attacks you as a person rather than address a specifc situation or problem 
• You feel angry, sad, or depressed around your partner
• You suspect or know that your partner is cheating or planning to cheat

These signs are often exhibited by folks who are no longer happy in their marriage, or no longer wish to be a part of it. One sign is not a surefire guarantee, but it is certainly a red flag as these are not healthy or sustainable in a good relationship.

Make a Plan For Yourself Post-Divorce

Once your mind is set on divorce, it’s important to do some preparation. Get your finances in order, think about what your income will look like on your own, and research options for living arrangements if you’re planning on moving out of the home. If you’re playing on staying, make sure to consult with a lawyer to discuss specifics as to how everything may be divided up, including real estate. 

Talk to Your Spouse and Consider Mediation

While it’s a very difficult discussion, it’s important that you give yourself a chance to talk to your spouse and discuss the divorce, especially if you and they have had time to cool down and process the situation. Talks could lead to reconciliation and salvaging the marriage, but just as importantly, talking opens the door to a collaborative divorce. 

If you and your spouse are willing to work together on your divorce, you’ll instantly have much more control over how the proceedings will play out. Rather than leave your fate strictly to the courts, coming up with a mutually agreeable plan with your spouse lets you both take direct control over matters such as custody arrangements, asset division, and more. 

Hire a Dedicated and Trusted Family Law Attorney

Finally, don’t forget to hire a qualified legal professional to advocate on your behalf. Even if you and your spouse are willing to work together on the divorce, you still need a separate attorney whose sole focus is on protecting you and your rights.

At the White Oak Law, we rely on decades of experience to help guide our clients through any and all matters relating to family law in CA. Our attorneys act as your staunch advocates in all mediation and arbitration matters. We also have the knowledge and family law expertise to bat for you if the ex tries to create disputes unnecessarily.

Learn more about how we can help and give us a call at the White Oak Law today. You can reach us at 925-271-0999 to schedule an initial consultation.