Adjusting to post-divorce life is challenging for parents and children alike. Kids who are used to having their entire world under one household may now find themselves shuffling across two or more households, and this adjustment can be very difficult for even the most adaptable of kids. 

Considering the level of emotions and uncertainty involved in divorce, this isn’t a huge surprise. Nonetheless, it is important for parents to remain vigilant during this sensitive period in order to stay on the lookout for any major shifts in behavior, signs of depression, or other potential issues that their children may be struggling through. 

To that end, we’re looking at strategies that you and the ex can implement in order to help your children adjust to this new post-divorce normal. 

Adhere to a Regular Routine to Promote Consistency

You can help promote a sense of normalcy by encouraging a normal and regular routine for your kids. Whether this involves doing hand-offs at the same time, engaging in parent-child activities on a regularly-scheduled basis, or assigning specific parents to always take over specific tasks, a regular routine can help your child adjust more rapidly and accept this as their new normal. 

Avoid Trash Talking or Negative Discussions

Regardless of how things played out between you and the ex, it’s important that you remain positive and avoid speaking ill of the other parent in front of the child. This can introduce internal conflict and push the child to “pick a side.” Furthermore, kids are very perceptive and your child will pick up on any overt or harboring resentment that you may have for the other parent. Protect their well-being and your relationship by avoiding unnecessary negative slander or trash talking.

Set Common Rules Across Both Household

A few set of rules that span across both households are a great way to promote a sense of normalcy and make the child feel loved as well as looked after. This doesn’t have to be anything major either, simple rules such as regular meal times and consistent choice of hobbies or activities can make a world of difference to a child that goes back and forth between two households. 

Encourage the Child to Decorate or Customize Each Space

Another great way to ensure that a child feels welcome in both homes is to encourage them to customize and decorate their space in each household. Maybe they want to keep a consistent theme across both homes, or perhaps they want to opt for two very different vibes or aesthetics for added variety. Whatever their choice, giving them this freedom can help the child understand that both homes are truly their space. 

Consult with a Family Law Attorney Today

These small tips can help both you and your children transition into your new, post-divorce life. Keep these tips in mind as you and the ex work to co-parent effectively and always remember to prioritize the well-being of the child above all. 

If you have any additional questions, or want to learn more about any aspect of divorce or family law in CA, we encourage you to call us at your earliest convenience to connect with our team of experienced attorneys.  Reach out to us at  925-271-0999 to connect with the White Oak Law team today!