The term gaslighting has gained momentum over the years, and the term itself has become part of everyday usage. As is often the case with many widely-used terms, the definition of gaslighting can be a bit loose depending on how it is being utilized in conversations. That said, gaslighting is a specific concept with a well-defined definition.

Coined in the early 1940’s, the term gaslighting refers to an emotionally manipulative tactic that people employ to make another person question his or her reality. This enables the perpetrator to further control the victim by making them doubt their own perceptions, convince them that they are the crazy or the wrong one, and allows the perpetrator to shape events or interpretations to their convenience. 

Gaslighting is a Form of Marital Abuse

Gaslighting can occur in all nature of relationships, though it is commonly seen in marriages and romantic relationships. It’s a particularly devious form of abuse because it can be difficult to recognize, and many don’t even realize that this is a form of marital abuse. Unlike other forms of more direct abuse, victims of gaslighting tactics may not fully realize the nature of the abuse which can make it hard for them to seek out help and take steps to protect themselves

Ways in Which Gaslighting Can Manifest

So how exactly do specific attempts of gaslighting tactics take shape? Here are some examples of what gaslighting could look like.

Denial of events: A gaslighter may pretend that events or situations played out differently than they actually did. This is often done to make the victim feel crazy or to shift blame to them for the abuser’s actions.

Dismissing or minimizing the victim’s feelings: Abusers might tell the victim that they are exaggerating or being ridiculous when the victim raises legitimate concerns or asks to be respected, etc. 

Giving the silent treatment or ignoring the victim: Abusers will often give victims the silent treatment in order to further maintain power, or to ensure that the victim feels unheard and unwanted. 

Isolating the victim and making sure they rely on the abuser for everything: Gaslighters can have trouble engaging in their tactics when victims have others to bounce their concerns off them. To that end, they’ll often try to isolate victims away from family, friends, and sympathetic ears. 

Talk to a Family Law Attorney Today

Gaslighting can range from small, subtle behaviors to repeated everyday instances. In any case, gaslighting is destructive to any marriage, and it’s important for potential victims to remain vigilant and aware if they suspect that their partner is engaging in these emotionally manipulative tactics. 

We hope this post is useful as you navigate through any family law or divorce issues in CA. If you’re struggling with a manipulative or abusive partner, and would like to explore your legal options, know that our attorneys at the White Oak Law are here to help.

Call our offices today at 925-271-0999 to connect with our team of seasoned legal experts today!